A Birthday message from Cousin OP

A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE FROM COUSIN OPIE

Dear Cousin Joe,

I honestly don't think that you are getting old.  If fact, to prove it, please read the following statements I found on the web.  If you can answer NO to all of them it will serve as proof that you are still a youngster.

Happy 70th,

COP

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

You look forward to a dull evening.

Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

You have a dream about prunes.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You think Cousin Opie is a nice young kid.